Punkxisxlove's Journals

BUZZNET/FOE IS DEAD.

For me anyways.

I AM NOT HERE ANYMORE!! If you really want to keep in touch with me, talk to me, or whatever, go to: myspace.com/musicfreakiam

Ahem.

"I can get jealous easily. I can envy easily. I can learn fast. I can be slow at jokes. I can be confused within a minute. I can be amazed within seconds.

From happy to sad. To depressed to overjoyed.

I confuse those easily. I make things easier for those. I take ideas and twist them in my own clever little ways. I get inspired from the "cloud of nothing." I can be simple. I can be complex.

From going to one thing to another. We're evolving more and more everyday. But I'm afraid that you haven't changed one bit. And I'm afraid that I get personalities mixed up with others. Yes, I do believe I have the power to make things worse, not better."

"The conversation was dead on arrival. I saw the future before the minute passed. There's nothing we can really say. So just turn around and walk away.

You're just a minute too late. You ruined the night. Now I'm stuck here, talking to myself. My hands going faster than my mouth. My hands writing faster than I can think.

It's a gift. It's a curse. It's something people will compliment on later. But they won't know what I'm talking about. Not even I know what I'm talking about.

The words are being thrown into the air. They're jumbled everywhere. I grab them, and throw them down. Sooner or later, it'll be nothing but a piece of abstract art. The kind that makes your head turn and twist just to understand it."

BEST FRIENDS VS STRANGERS

A best friend is someone who you can tell everything to. A stranger is someone you can't trust.

A best friend is someone who will allow you to sit on their lap. A stranger is someone you don't feel comfortable sitting within a foot of them.

A best friend is someone who says they'll always be there for you. A stranger is someone who you'll never see again.

A best friend is someone who can borrow something and return it to you safely. A stranger is someone who takes and never gives back that thing of yours.

A best friend is somone who will buy whatever you want. A stranger is someone who only buys for themselves.

If those are the rules for best friends and strangers, and I'm sure there's more, then why do I keep getting the one confused the other?

Uhmm... I felt like posting these and want to know what you think of them? Anyways ... thanks for at leasting wasting a while to read them.

Sonny Moore|| Note To Self: I Miss You Terribly|| Pt. 19

"Sonny?" Matt called out as he walked onto the bus. He heard a faint groan come from one of the bunks. "Sonny?"

"What?"

"Stop faking sick, d__n it." Matt tore the covers off of the bunk.

Sonny glared at him. "I'm not."

"Yes you are. Everybody knows it. You just don't wanna see Brianna because you didn't get the chance to ask her out, chicken s__t."

"What are you-"

"I was able to persaue Dirty into telling me everything.

"With what?" asked Sonny stunned.

"Beer."

"I should've known..."

"My life sucks."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because everything..." Brianna mumbled. Lee sighed and shook her head.

"And everything is...?"

"Everything!" Brianna nearly yelled.

Pete, who was asleep in the chair, grunted.

"Keep it down, geez," he mumbled sleeply.

"Sorry..."

"You know what? Let's go visit Sonny."

"Why?"

"Because you haven't seen him in a while and I know you miss him."

Never thought I'd get this far... Wow! But I think this story is coming to a soon end. x*[

Sonny Moore|| Note To Self: I Miss You Terribly|| Pt. 18

FLASHBACK!

"She's gone Sonny! And you didn't make a move!" Greta yelled at him.
"I'm sorry! I really thought about making some sort of move, but before I could, she said we should get going!"

"Ahh! Sonny! Why didn't you just stop her and kissed her or something?!" Greta yelled. Sonny swore he saw fire in her eyes.

"I don't know! Okay? I. Don't. Know!" he ran his hands through his hair. Greta shook her head.

"Sonny likes Brianna?!" yelled Dirty, coming out from the corner. Greta and Sonny both looked towards him, in total shock.

Sonny started to bite down his nails as his eyes went big.

Greta sighed and flipped her hair to the side.

"No one's saying anything... So he does! Aha! I'm going to tell everybody!"

"No!" Sonny and Greta both yelled loudly at the same time.

"Aww, come on! Why not?" Dirty whined.

"Because. This is between Sonny and Brianna-"

"And basically you," Sonny interrupted.

"And I guess me," she continued, giving Sonny a dark look.

"So? Can't everybody be involved? We'll make it a team effort! We'll be like, like... Little cupids!" Dirty yelled, getting too excited.

"No, Dirty! You can't tell anyone, because this isn't anyone else's problems. Understand?"

"No."

"Dirty, if you tell anyone, I swear I will chop your fingers off!" Greta yelled. Sonny had to hold back a chuckle.

"Ummm... Yes, ma'am. I understand. I swear I won't tell anyone."

Merry Christmas from Keilee to Brianna. ^_^

Sonny Moore|| Note To Self: I Miss You Terribly|| Pt. 17

2 Months Later

Brianna sat down another box. She sighed heavily and just sat on the floor.

She stayed there, for about twenty moments, motionless.

There was a knock at the door. Brianna was startled a bit, but soon recovered from her shock.

"Hey, Bri!" Lee said. Brianna started at who was at the door.

Derek, Travis, Matt, Lee, and Pete. She smiled as they all went into a group hug.

"Oh my God! What are you guys doing here? You're not done with tour yet, are you?" she asked.

"In a month we will. But we were in the neighborhood, so we thought we'd drop by," Pete said, smiling like a little kid.

"Well, that's great!"

"So, how's your mom?" asked Travis, sitting next to Brianna. She looked towards him, and sighed.

"She's still in a comba. They're thinking about..." her vision started to blur and she started to shake her head.

Travis hugged her.

"Hey, it's okay. You said they were thinking about it, right?" Brianna shook her head up and down.

"Wait. I just realized. Where's Sonny?" she asked, wiping tears from her eyes as Travis let go of her.

"He didn't want to come. He said he was sick, but we all know he's faking it."

"Why?"

"We don't know. But him and Greta have been going at it for a while now..." Travis trailed off.

"Once again, why?"

"Only Dirty knows. And he said that if he told anybody, Greta would kill him. So... Yeah."

Brianna laughed. "Greta knows how to control boys..."

Sonny Moore|| Note To Self: I Miss You Terribly|| Pt. 16

"What should we do now?" Sonny asked, sitting down on the grass. Brianna sat next to him.

"I don't know. But we do have to get back soon."

"Oh, right." There was an awkard silence between them.

Brianna was thinking about how Lee told her that Sonny liked her, but he wasn't showing any real feelings towards her.

Sonny was thinking about how Brianna had to leave for the rest of the tour. He then thought about what Greta said.

Now's your chance!

No.

... Chicken.

What?

You're scared.

I know I am. But...

But nothing! Now is your chance to kiss her and-

"Sonny?" Brianna asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"I think we should be getting back now."

"Oh, um, yeah. Right. Let's go."

You know what? ... Can you feel your heartbeat racing?... I admit that I'm just a fool for you... And this could be my night... I never thought we'd make it out alive... Don't shake; I hate to see you termble... So addictive... I'm so stupid. I don't remember the name for this song. And this song fits the story perfectly.

Sonny Moore|| Note To Self: I Miss You Terribly|| Pt. 15

"Mom! I'm eighteen years old!"

"So?! It doesn't matter how old you are! Anybody can come up and snatch you away!" Brianna groaned.

"But I'm not five! I don't need someone to hold my hand anymore! I can take care of myself!"

XXXXXXXXXX"You are not going out looking like that!"

"What?! Why not?!"

"You're too dark! Too depressing! Change into something brighter."

"Too dark and depressing?! You know what? I don't even want to go to this dinner thing! Just count me out!" Brianna stormed out of the house before her mother could protest.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Brianna, eat."

"But I'm not hungry."

"Then try to eat."

"But, I'm. Not. Hungry."

"Fine. Just go to your room. Don't cry to me when you're hungry."

XXXXXXXXXX

"You need to find some more girlrfriends."

"I do have girlfriends!"

"But not enough!"

"Oh, so are you saying that it is wrong to hang out with so many guys?"

"Unless you're f**king them," her mom muttered under her breath low enough that her daughter wouldn't hear. "It may just be wrong, Brianna!"

"Oh, whatever! I'm not sticking around to hear your bulls**t!"

"Don't talk like that to me!"

Chyeah. I'm bored. All the cool kids are getting bored. XD Pt. 16 on its way. ^_^

Sonny Moore||Note To Self: I Miss You Terribly||Pt. 14

Brianna's cell phone rang, playing Hit The Lights. She sighed and looked away from her book that she was reading to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, yes. Is this the daughter of Ms. Carrie McLake?" a male's voice asked.

"Umm... Yes, this is she. Why?"

"We're sorry to inform you but your mother has been admitted into the hospital." Brianna froze.

"What? Why?"

"She got into a car accident. She is in a comba right now. She also..." Brianna didn't hear another word the doctor was saying. She completey zoned out. "Miss McLake?" she finally heard.

"Oh, um, yes?"

"Will you be able to come down to the hospital to sign a few papers?" Brianna thought for a moment.

"But I'm in Virginia right now."

"Oh, well then. I guess whenever you can, we prefer as quickly as possible, that you come down to the Flower Mission Hospital."

"The city's local one, right?"

"Yes."

"Okay then. I'll- I'll try to get there as soon as possible."

"Okay. Good day."

"Bye." Brianna hung up, shaking. Lee walked onto the bus at the moment.

"Brianna? Are you okay? You looked pale, and you're shaking! What happened?" Lee rushed over to her side. Brianna looked at her.

"My mom's in the hospital. I-I have to go sign some forms."

"But that's all the way back in-"

"Florida. Yeah, I know. That's why I have to pack and go." Lee looked down at the floor, sad.

"Well... What about the guys?" she asked.

"I'm going to tell them that I can't stay for the rest of the tour because of my mom. They'll understand." Brianna stood up, heading towards the bunk area.

"Did you know that Sonny likes you?" Lee blurted out.

"What?!" Brianna came rushing back onto the couch, instantly forgetting about her problems.

"He likes you, Brianna. He'll duct tape your heart back together," she said, smiling and leaving the bus. Brianna sat on the couch, excited yet feeling a hint of sadness.

"Brianna?" asked Sonny, walking onto the bus area. Lee had told the boys that she would be leaving.

Once Brianna heard his voice, she smiled. But soon frowned. "Hey, Sonny," she said, walking towards him, coming out of the bunk area. Sonny smiled a small and sad one.

"Hi," he whispered. Brianna sighed. "Lee told us that you'd be leaving to go care for your mom at the hospital. I'm really sorry about that."

"Yeah. I should finish packing."

"But... Do you think we could spend some time together before you leave?" he asked. Brianna looked at him hopefully.

"Yeah, sure. I'd love to."

I don't think you've ever told me your last name Brianna, so I made one up. Hope you don't mind. ^_^ Oh, and that duct tape your heart back together line-- Freezepop. [Deff] check them out.

Don't Waste Your Time On Me

Dream is but a word that describes fallen hope/Too many of us do too much/That's why I hope to stop dreaming/But then, yet again, that dream is fallen hope

I think about suicide more than you think/Extreme of me, I know/But the thought is comfortable at home /I have no plan of kicking it out soon

Did you know that I hate mirrors?/I'd ban them from the world if I could/There's nothing but a monster staring back /I'd take a sledgehammer and destroy the beautiful glass

Maybe if you say something /Then I won't have to be leaving/Maybe if you do something/Maybe I wouldn't be like this

I'd rather be out than be in the home/I'd rather listen to them than you/I'd rather cry then stare/I'd rather be pretty then be this/All in all, I'm basically miserable

I won't be leaving permanetly, people. Just a break. This has... some reasons. It's rather hard to explain. But I hope you had fun taking a tour in my brain.

<3Keilee [[punkxisxlove]]

Step, Step, You're Too Slow, Speed It Up

Crashing down the walls/Taking into arms/Kisses left on the neck/All of that soon turns into something worse/Secrets spill out/Arms can become deadly, they no longer bring comfort/The heart is torn apart/And all you get out of this is a laugh or two and a crying girl

You scream so loud, your vocal cords are no longer in use/You cry so hard, your eyes will be sore for a whole week now

I'm fading away into nothing/My heart is cold and grey, but you made me this way/I thought that we could have something, but you never looked my way/Now I'm fading away/My heart is cold and grey, it's broken into a million pieces/This short letter was meant for you/I'm spilling my guts out in ink, no matter how clique that may sound/You can except more from me/But I'll be too busy throwing my guts out/And my tears will fall from my eyes/I'm fading into nothing, you're putting me on the edge

My heart beats faster as the sadness kicks in/My state gets worse as the depression kicks in/I may need some help

If my heart stops/I won't feel no more pain/'Cause it's already stoppped long ago/I'm broken into two/There's nothing else to do

We'll escape to an island/We'll bring liqour with us/We'll drink until we say we love each other/Then we'll stay together/I didn't want to go to this/But I guess we have no choice

Lines by Me